Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman
Slightly awkward dialogue? Check. Unconvincing love triangle? Check. Supposedly edgy bad boy who actually is incredibly safe and non threatening? Check. Turning something that used to be really cool into something incredibly gay? Check. Stupid people declaring undying love when they are clearly too young to know their arse hole from their elbow? Check. Catherine Hardwicke directing? Check... There we have it, it can only be the twilight of werewolf movies... Bugger!
God damn you Catherine Hardwicke... God damn you!
Don’t worry this will be a short review. This film is awful. Apparently Catherine Hardwicke is so happy with her artistic direction after directing Twilight that she decided to fuck up another classic monster. I can cope with vampires being all moody and emo after all Anne Rice has been writing them like that for years but her characters have some weight to them and Interview with the Vampire turned out pretty good. But I have always loved the idea of a werewolf, loosing yourself in primal fury actual sounds interesting to me. The idea of man fighting with his darker nature is great source material for any story teller in any medium. So why does this age old idea get turned into a teenage three way?
That is the problem with both Twilight and Red Riding Hood, the main protagonists are teenagers. Now those of you who have read my Easy A review know that I like John Hughes movies from the eighties. So isn’t it a bit hypercritical of me to condemn more modern films that are dealing with teenage emotions when all of his movies were teenagers trying to work out life and love?
Well no because his films were good.
The difference is that the characters in John Hughes movies were all well rounded with various things going on. If they were trying to get the girl it was because she was fit and they wanted to go to the prom but they would also be trying to stand on their own away from their parents, stand up to authority, take responsibility for things etc etc. If they were declaring love it was done in that shallow way that teenagers really do say it.
Also the tone of the films were always fairly lighthearted because the film makers knew that although these things seemed the be the most important things in the world to the characters at that time, they weren’t. Instead these were the days when they were becoming the adult they would be. The problems were often (but not always) fairly trivial but each character grew and learned about the world and we did too as we watched.
Catherine Hardwicke doesn’t get this it seems to me. The style of her films is so serious and pretentious that it verges on self parody. What do teenagers know about anything? When Bella (Kristen Stewart in Twilight) or Valerie (Amanda Seyfried in Red Riding Hood) are declaring eternal love we know it is bullshit. It doesn’t ring true. Because of that the films seem laborious and pushing to the point of being ridiculous.
Ok I understand that I am not this films target audience and if you loved Twilight then maybe this film is for you. But even then you might as well watch Twilight on blu ray again because this isn't even as competently made as twilight is... a Twilight lite if you will, the Diet coke of crappy, self pretentious, supernatural teen romance films. Hell, even I found a few moments of guilty fun in the more recent Twilight films.
To give credit where it's due Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman and Julie Christie work hard but the script is awful and apart from them the acting is atrocious.
The whole film looks like it was shot on the cheapest sound stage they could find, the script seems like it was written by a group of eleven year olds who were asked to rewrite twilight in their own style and the actors look like they were the first people to walk past the studio on the day.
Forget this film, don’t even go and see it. Instead go and buy/hire/borrow/download The Company of Wolves (1984) Angela Lansbury and Brian Glover are in it and they are awesome...
Did I enjoy the film? No.
Would I recommend it to my friends? No.
Will I buy it on DVD/Blu Ray? No.
If it was a mate would I let it date my Sister? No.
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